Reviews of an Acute Cinephile.

BATMAN V SUPERMAN : DAWN OF JUSTICE (2016)(Spoiler-Free) Movie Review

So, I just walked out of Batman v Superman, and here are my spoiler-free thoughts:

This was a bad movie.
It’s as simple as that; and look, if you’re going to call me biased for saying that, then go ahead. Im merely calling it like I saw it.

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Also, by bad, I don’t mean not very good, I don’t mean mediocre… I mean f**king bad.
I don’t recall the last time I ever walked out of a movie feeling this let down and miserable. I bought two Batman v Superman shirts in hype for this film and now, I just feel like I’ve been stolen from. Anyway, rants aside, I’ll give you my thoughts –

The Good:

Ben Affleck as Batman was phenomenal, and his performance will excite batfans to the prospect of an Affleck directed Batman film. Also, a bat-related 10 min opening scene was really beautiful and well done.
Some of the cinematography and fight choreography was really good.
Wonder woman’s theme music was excellent.
That’s it.

The Bad:

Oh brother, where do I even start with this steaming crock of shit?

First and foremost, this film is an incoherent and incomprehensible mess. It’s editing is scattershot, scenes aren’t given enough time to breathe and it’s just all over the place. All this, after WB/DC postponing the release of this film for a full year!
Next, the Characterizations in this film were hilariously bad. As he proved earlier with Man of Steel, director Zack Snyder proves that he doesn’t get or care for Superman as a character at all in this film. Hell, Superman barely has any lines in to say and the way Henry Cavill’s performance is directed, you don’t see Superman as a symbol of hope and positivity as he’s supposed to be, you just end up with a super powered thug. It is very clear that Snyder just wanted to make a Batman film and Superman as a character suffers all the more for it. Oh, and Batman doesn’t get off Scott free either.

You remember the time when Batman didn’t kill? When he was staunchly against guns? Well, be ready to forget all that because although Ben Affleck’s performance is fantastic as Bruce Wayne/Batman, This Batman is more Punisher than Dark Knight. He uses real bullets, sets criminals on fire and even, at one point, breaks a guys neck. I can’t help but wonder how, after this, they’re going to explain Batman not killing the Joker.

Now, onto one of the worst performances in the film – Jesse Eisenberg’s Lex Luthor (You know what’s ironic? When I was typing in Eisenberg, autocorrect corrected it to Heisenberg. Even fucking autocorrect knows what a poor casting choice Jesse was for the role, and how much better someone like Bryan Cranston could have played him) I’ll say this much about the performance – it’s shit and it’s not Lex Luthor. It’s more like Ace Ventura doing a Joker impression.

Gal Gadot’s Wonder Woman is merely serviceable and is just there to advance the plot and nothing else. Some of her line reading came of as stiff and wooden and wasn’t memorable one bit.

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Furthermore, there are a ton of Justice League references in this film, but none of them excited me, because of how
1. the rest of the film was shit
2. forced they were.

Oh, and the title fight? It’s 10 minutes long and ends in one of the most corniest and cheesiest ways possible. Also, as expected, Superman gets screwed over yet again by DC in favour of Batman.

There also isn’t much levity in this film; and a film, where we have a flying superhero battling a guy dressed as a bat is treated as serious as a heart attack.

Why?
Well, damned if I know…ask Hack Snyder (oops, I meant Zack….or did I?)

Guys, I wanted to love this film. I really did; but this film was very clearly WB/DC’s half assed attempt to catch up with Disney/Marvel and it shows. This film was by far, the most horrible and disappointing movie going experience I’ve had in 2016. Call me a hater or biased, but call me all that AFTER you’ve seen the film as well. I don’t want to feel this way, you know.

Superman is a character who’s very dear to me and has inspired me in a lot of ways unknown to many. Zack Snyder took that Superman away from me and anyone else who loved the character.

My suggestion? Watch Deadpool or Zootopia again. Skip this shit and show the major Studios that they can’t trick audience members into lapping up the crap that they serve.

I’m really disappointed guys.

Rating: 3.5/10 (Skip it. And skip it hard)

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4 thoughts on “BATMAN V SUPERMAN : DAWN OF JUSTICE (2016)(Spoiler-Free) Movie Review

  1. *gives a cookie*
    You are not alone…I have spend the last day checking out reviews and it is heart-breaking to watch the fans trying to convince themselves that the movie is at least okay when, judging by reviews like yours, it apparently isn’t. I was sceptical from the get go and therefore spend the last three years as a so called “hater”, which apparently is nowadays the word for “smells a turd in the making instead of jumping on every hype train”, and the decision if I would watch the movie or not hinged on the reviews all along. So I was somewhat prepared. But even I didn’t expect such a negative reaction. I expected more another Man of Steel.

      1. Me too (I am actually not sure which reviewer coined the term, but I think it fits here). Have you seen moviebobs review? He was merciless…..

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